Sigh; after a week of sunning myself poolside and eating as many carbs as I could get down my throat, it’s back to reality for me. Granted, quite probably for the best (Snack bar server at the pool had given me the super cute nickname of ‘chicken nugget’, and no, it’s not because I look like one…) however no matter how many luxurious retreats I wangle my way onto, I still find it really difficult getting back to normality on my return.
Certainly I cannot be the only one?
Quick WhatsApp round to the chicas and the evidence is clear – this horrendous affliction is suffered by everyone on the planet, and so I thought that being the considerate bitch that I am, I would create a fascinating guide on how to combat this horrendous affliction.
1. Unpack – Get that shit out of your life.
The complete worst part of coming home for me is staring at the suitcase which I have unsuccessfully attempted to hide behind my bedroom door. Get that shit cleaned out and packed away! Less crap to clutter up your living space = happy mind.
2. Live in your holiday memories as long as humanly possible.
Give your nearest and dearest a blow-by-blow of what you got up to, and I mean everything. “Hey guess what on holiday we saw some really cute cats” or “OMG on holiday you will never believe it, a waiter had the funniest joke about sangria i almost pissed my pants” etc etc. Who gives a shit if by the end of the week they are silently screaming to their selves “OMG I DONT GIVE A FUCK”. Haters gonna hate!!
And once you have worn those beautiful memories out…
3. Occupy your mind with ANYTHING other than these thoughts.
After about a week, you will 100% be getting severely down about how much fun you had, and why it’s so unfair that you’re no longer there. STOP IMMEDIATELY. MOVE ON. Don’t waste any more brain energy! You had fun, that’s great! Now get back to reality. Seriously, your friends will appreciate it.
4. Pamper yourself.
What better way to wipe away your tears than to go out and transform yourself back into that stun princess who boarded that Boeing 737? Revel in it; enjoy your tan, get your hair sorted, shave, who gives a fuck! Just make yourself feel good again. It will be worth it, trust me.
5. Get pissed with who you went away with.
The mandatory meeting of the people who are in the same boat as you. You will all be able to be glum together and wade through the amazing memories you have all created. If this doesn’t cheer you up, then the answer is simple…
6. Book another jolly!
This is can testify for. Get yo’self a one way ticket back to funtown, and then the countdown begins again!
Take my advise guys, it’s important and if we all work together, in no time we will have beaten this monster forever. If you think i’ve missed anything, have a comment at the bottom.
You know what I’m going to say; if all of this doesn’t work, there’s always Vodka!